What an amazing day - an example of how the warming presence of a full-bodied sun can really make a huge difference to everything... My day started with an early awakening as the sun crashed blindingly through the skylight and burned holes in my eyelids. I washed quickly and put on my new (charity shop) dress, which made the day feel special from the very beginning, then took my tea and muesli outside onto the patio. It was warm enough to sit in short sleeves! :)
I raked all the leaves off the lawn and revealed the huge horse-hoof holes beneath. Hmm, at least the grass will get some light now, and some air, but I will have to get around to filling in the holes if I don't want any twisted ankles in the near future. The tonne bag of leaves started off our leaf compost project - we plan on composting as many leaves as possible annually so that within 3 years or so we'll have our own seed compost.
I spoke with BT and ordered our phone connection. Apparently these days you have no option but to sign up to a 12 month contract :( The actual connection will take place next Tuesday - much later than the 24-48 hours which had been promised in earlier conversations, but the Scottish BT call centre guy assured me that "never in all creation has it been 48 hours, let alone 24 - it's a three day turnaround" which made me snigger, despite feeling somewhat annoyed. As if BT had been around since the very beginning of time.
Feels so good to be working outside, as well as being able to relax in the sun. We were prevented from sitting outside while we lived in our previous house, as the neighbour had a horribly aggressive dog which would launch a snarling attack every time we tried to walk to the end of our garden. It's been two, almost three years of being confined to the house (or brief forays into the park) on sunny days, so you can imagine how heavenly it is to finally have the chance to enjoy being outside in our own, private space! :) We've been busy digging and weeding beds in the vegetable garden too, there's plenty (read: mountains) of work to be done down there if we are to be able to plant out the seedlings we have grown, and sow the seeds we are itching to get in the ground, but many hands make light work.
I have caught myself searching the recesses of my mind for something stressful - until Ember ended I was so used to there being great threatening shadows of deadlines and stressful tasks at the back of my brain that it seems like a dream to search and not find anything of the kind... Phil says he's found himself doing the same thing, thinking "what am I supposed to have done/be doing?" and then realising (with surprise) that those things have gone now, we can chose what to do day by day. There is so much to be done, but we have the rest of our lives ahead of us in which to do it all. That's the idea, anyway! :)
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stress. Show all posts
Thursday, 8 April 2010
Monday, 22 March 2010
March Madness
Sorry about that. That was a long pause!
Since I last wrote we have been stupidly busy.
Rebecca and I went to Holland to play our last foreseeable performances as Ember, and we've not seen much of each other since. The album has been selling well thanks to her mailouts to the people who support us and value our music. We still have to work out what to do with the many boxes of Emberobelia - theatre programmes and magazines featuring write-ups about us, reviews, stacks of live recordings on CD and DVD, data CDs full of photos, as well as all the excess office materials we have left over. We can't just throw that stuff away!
Since Ember finished in early March, Phil and I have been racing to complete the remaining work on our house so that we can put it on the market and go to the smallholding. It felt so good to get involved (finally!) and complete jobs such as sanding and oiling the stairs, cleaning up the revealed copper pipes, and thoroughly scrubbing the entire interior. Phil has been doing so well - he's finished putting the new roof on the annex, painted most of the window frames and (almost) fixed the front door. I feel rather out of my depth with the actual building work, so have been signing up for any and all of the cleaning tasks...
I can't believe we are planning on moving to the smallholding on Thursday! We have two more valuations taking place on Wednesday, before we decide on an estate agent, and we're planning on leaving most of the furniture in the house while it's on the market. Life at the smallholding will be pretty basic to begin with, but my parents have offered to lend us some chairs and a patio table for our kitchen in the meantime.
Today I hit the 19 weeks mark in the pregnancy - halfway through, according to the updates I get from the BabyCentre.co.uk - and the time has been racing by! For the last three weeks or so I have been feeling little Squiggles moving about inside, and the little cartwheels are getting stronger all the time. When I think about the fact that there is an actual baby inside me, it makes me feel strangely ticklish and a bit giggly... Exciting times! :)
The downside of the pregnancy has been a hugely increased emotional sensitivity - I've been getting really upset over small things (they seem so massive at the time!) and sometimes in the evenings it can all become too much. The depression can last until I finally fall asleep exhausted. I am not normally one to cry, but some nights have seen me weeping inconsolably for hours. :( There is such a thing as Ante-Natal Depression apparently, though we don't hear much about it. The positive thing to bear in mind is that usually the depression passes once the child has been born. I'm hoping it will pass when we get to the smallholding - life has been so stressful these last few months, slowing down can only help!
Hormones though, they can drive you mad! How are you supposed to remain a nice person whilst being dragged around on a nightmarish emotional roller coaster? Poor Phil has been through the mill as well, he has no idea when I might snap next... (Well, nor do I...!)
I shall do my best to get some photos of our beautiful, tidy house for you to have a look, and while I'm at it, I might even ask Phil to take a photo of my little bump...
Goodnight! :)
PS - Oh yes - the One Hundred Days? I reckon it's over, baby. I did 54 posts out of 100 - pretty poor! - but I can appreciate what it did for me. It got me started on this blog for one thing, and helped me to connect with others who were involved - without it I would never have found Tammy, or Beth... It's brought me closer to my Kellee... Not to mention the fact that it's allowed me to share my daily mundanity with my mum, who checks the Tangled Yarn regularly and will be pleased to see that I've finally posted another update - oh - there she is now - HELLO MUM!
Since I last wrote we have been stupidly busy.
Rebecca and I went to Holland to play our last foreseeable performances as Ember, and we've not seen much of each other since. The album has been selling well thanks to her mailouts to the people who support us and value our music. We still have to work out what to do with the many boxes of Emberobelia - theatre programmes and magazines featuring write-ups about us, reviews, stacks of live recordings on CD and DVD, data CDs full of photos, as well as all the excess office materials we have left over. We can't just throw that stuff away!
Since Ember finished in early March, Phil and I have been racing to complete the remaining work on our house so that we can put it on the market and go to the smallholding. It felt so good to get involved (finally!) and complete jobs such as sanding and oiling the stairs, cleaning up the revealed copper pipes, and thoroughly scrubbing the entire interior. Phil has been doing so well - he's finished putting the new roof on the annex, painted most of the window frames and (almost) fixed the front door. I feel rather out of my depth with the actual building work, so have been signing up for any and all of the cleaning tasks...
I can't believe we are planning on moving to the smallholding on Thursday! We have two more valuations taking place on Wednesday, before we decide on an estate agent, and we're planning on leaving most of the furniture in the house while it's on the market. Life at the smallholding will be pretty basic to begin with, but my parents have offered to lend us some chairs and a patio table for our kitchen in the meantime.
Today I hit the 19 weeks mark in the pregnancy - halfway through, according to the updates I get from the BabyCentre.co.uk - and the time has been racing by! For the last three weeks or so I have been feeling little Squiggles moving about inside, and the little cartwheels are getting stronger all the time. When I think about the fact that there is an actual baby inside me, it makes me feel strangely ticklish and a bit giggly... Exciting times! :)
The downside of the pregnancy has been a hugely increased emotional sensitivity - I've been getting really upset over small things (they seem so massive at the time!) and sometimes in the evenings it can all become too much. The depression can last until I finally fall asleep exhausted. I am not normally one to cry, but some nights have seen me weeping inconsolably for hours. :( There is such a thing as Ante-Natal Depression apparently, though we don't hear much about it. The positive thing to bear in mind is that usually the depression passes once the child has been born. I'm hoping it will pass when we get to the smallholding - life has been so stressful these last few months, slowing down can only help!
Hormones though, they can drive you mad! How are you supposed to remain a nice person whilst being dragged around on a nightmarish emotional roller coaster? Poor Phil has been through the mill as well, he has no idea when I might snap next... (Well, nor do I...!)
I shall do my best to get some photos of our beautiful, tidy house for you to have a look, and while I'm at it, I might even ask Phil to take a photo of my little bump...
Goodnight! :)
PS - Oh yes - the One Hundred Days? I reckon it's over, baby. I did 54 posts out of 100 - pretty poor! - but I can appreciate what it did for me. It got me started on this blog for one thing, and helped me to connect with others who were involved - without it I would never have found Tammy, or Beth... It's brought me closer to my Kellee... Not to mention the fact that it's allowed me to share my daily mundanity with my mum, who checks the Tangled Yarn regularly and will be pleased to see that I've finally posted another update - oh - there she is now - HELLO MUM!
Thursday, 4 February 2010
Lovely Surprise, and A Helpful List
Day Sixty Three.
Ooh, what a lovely surprise! This morning I received an envelope packed with loveliness from the Heartful Blogger - featuring two of her handpainted luggage tags (great bookmarks) and one of her very own postcards, which depicted some more beautiful converse boots! It made me so happy! :D It was strange too, strange to go from following a blog online and enjoying Tammy's drawings and paintings on the screen of my laptop - to having said artworks in my hands! I found that the pieces were even more impressive when I could study them in closer detail... It was very much an inspiring experience. Thanks, Tammy, I love them!
Later...
Bec and I spent the afternoon sorting out the logistics for our '10 Years of Ember' Celebration concert in the Plas, Machynlleth, on 12th February. It's amazing how much organisation is involved in one little night of music, and doing the organising has helped us to appreciate the work of all of the people who arrange gigs for us all over the country. I suppose that the more often you do it, the less stressing and planning you need to do, but still - it's a lot of work!
We made a great big list of what we'd need to do in advance, and what we'd need to do (and when) on the day. Thank goodness we have some kind friends to help out - it would be a nightmare if it were down to the pair of us! The master list was divided up between us, so now neither of us needs to worry, we just need to get OUR stuff done! Even though there is still a lot of work to do, mostly it's been broken into bite-sized pieces, so there's no need to panic.
Although:
Aaaaarrrgh!!!!
Ooh, what a lovely surprise! This morning I received an envelope packed with loveliness from the Heartful Blogger - featuring two of her handpainted luggage tags (great bookmarks) and one of her very own postcards, which depicted some more beautiful converse boots! It made me so happy! :D It was strange too, strange to go from following a blog online and enjoying Tammy's drawings and paintings on the screen of my laptop - to having said artworks in my hands! I found that the pieces were even more impressive when I could study them in closer detail... It was very much an inspiring experience. Thanks, Tammy, I love them!
Later...
Bec and I spent the afternoon sorting out the logistics for our '10 Years of Ember' Celebration concert in the Plas, Machynlleth, on 12th February. It's amazing how much organisation is involved in one little night of music, and doing the organising has helped us to appreciate the work of all of the people who arrange gigs for us all over the country. I suppose that the more often you do it, the less stressing and planning you need to do, but still - it's a lot of work!
We made a great big list of what we'd need to do in advance, and what we'd need to do (and when) on the day. Thank goodness we have some kind friends to help out - it would be a nightmare if it were down to the pair of us! The master list was divided up between us, so now neither of us needs to worry, we just need to get OUR stuff done! Even though there is still a lot of work to do, mostly it's been broken into bite-sized pieces, so there's no need to panic.
Although:
Aaaaarrrgh!!!!
Friday, 29 January 2010
Blogging Backlog Hell
Friday 29th January.
Argh! I have been so stupidly busy that I've somehow managed to build up a backlog of about 12 as yet "unblogged" days, and it's driving me mad! I know I'm not alone in this, Beth has had difficulties too. It's not easy! :) The big push to get the album finished and safely to the manufacturers is completed, so at least that stress is off. It has consumed most of my waking hours for the past two months, but especially in the last four weeks.
Another problem is that the batteries for my camera need recharging, so I will do that when I have finished typing this. My blog without photos would become a little two dimensional, I reckon. You need before and after photos, right?! So I will do that now. And if you'll bear with me I'll just try my best to catch up, even if it happens somewhat slowly.
Meanwhile, allow me to direct you to the amazingly creative world of Citrus Girl, a woman who's talents and energy know no bounds, a Maker of Many Lovely Things...
And you might like to know that one of my favourite bloggers is giving away some of her beautiful designs this week... here's the 4th giveaway, but you can easily find the others!
Oh, and finally, I was overjoyed to receive the Sunshine Blog Award from the Heartful Blogger, for being one of the twelve bloggers who inspire and enrich her! :) Thank you, Tammy! Woo! I am looking forward to nominating my favourite bloggers and passing on the love! I shall do it, I promise, I just need time... :)
Argh! I have been so stupidly busy that I've somehow managed to build up a backlog of about 12 as yet "unblogged" days, and it's driving me mad! I know I'm not alone in this, Beth has had difficulties too. It's not easy! :) The big push to get the album finished and safely to the manufacturers is completed, so at least that stress is off. It has consumed most of my waking hours for the past two months, but especially in the last four weeks.
Another problem is that the batteries for my camera need recharging, so I will do that when I have finished typing this. My blog without photos would become a little two dimensional, I reckon. You need before and after photos, right?! So I will do that now. And if you'll bear with me I'll just try my best to catch up, even if it happens somewhat slowly.
Meanwhile, allow me to direct you to the amazingly creative world of Citrus Girl, a woman who's talents and energy know no bounds, a Maker of Many Lovely Things...
And you might like to know that one of my favourite bloggers is giving away some of her beautiful designs this week... here's the 4th giveaway, but you can easily find the others!
Oh, and finally, I was overjoyed to receive the Sunshine Blog Award from the Heartful Blogger, for being one of the twelve bloggers who inspire and enrich her! :) Thank you, Tammy! Woo! I am looking forward to nominating my favourite bloggers and passing on the love! I shall do it, I promise, I just need time... :)
Filing Accounts Online, and a Secret
Day Fifty Seven.
Despite my earlier post about my nightmarish blog backlog, I still intend to persist with the 100 Day Project, and endeavour to fill in the gaps. I realise now why my camera batteries needing charging had become such a big issue - when I found the charger I saw that the plug had been snipped off, leaving just bare wires... This was the problem I came up against last time I tried to solve the dead battery crisis... So there may not be any photos for a little while :(
I felt a huge sense of achievement today, not least because I successfully filed my Self-Assessment Tax Return online, with a little help from the telephone helpdesk, but also because I DISCOVERED A SECRET. I'd left it this late because I knew I needed to know something IMPORTANT before I filed it, and the Important Thing turned out to be called 'Profit Averaging.'
It only applies to farmers and "creatives," whose self-employment earnings can fluctuate hugely from year to year, and allows you to make an average figure of income from two consecutive years. It makes a magical difference, and even the helpdesk man was surprised to learn about it from his guidebook.
After the number crunching was done, I took myself off for a brisk and lengthy walk, incorporating an amazing twenty minutes or so of lying on the pebbles by the river, enjoying the shapes of the trees, the smell of the breeze, and light reflecting off the water.
It almost feels like Spring is here!
Despite my earlier post about my nightmarish blog backlog, I still intend to persist with the 100 Day Project, and endeavour to fill in the gaps. I realise now why my camera batteries needing charging had become such a big issue - when I found the charger I saw that the plug had been snipped off, leaving just bare wires... This was the problem I came up against last time I tried to solve the dead battery crisis... So there may not be any photos for a little while :(
I felt a huge sense of achievement today, not least because I successfully filed my Self-Assessment Tax Return online, with a little help from the telephone helpdesk, but also because I DISCOVERED A SECRET. I'd left it this late because I knew I needed to know something IMPORTANT before I filed it, and the Important Thing turned out to be called 'Profit Averaging.'
It only applies to farmers and "creatives," whose self-employment earnings can fluctuate hugely from year to year, and allows you to make an average figure of income from two consecutive years. It makes a magical difference, and even the helpdesk man was surprised to learn about it from his guidebook.
After the number crunching was done, I took myself off for a brisk and lengthy walk, incorporating an amazing twenty minutes or so of lying on the pebbles by the river, enjoying the shapes of the trees, the smell of the breeze, and light reflecting off the water.
It almost feels like Spring is here!
Monday, 21 December 2009
Making Christmas Less Stressful
Day Eighteen.
So it looks like my parents and brother will be coming to our house again this year. It will be too stressful for my parents if we descend upon them at the smallholding - I mean, they're only getting the keys tomorrow, and moving more stuff (tractors!) up on Wednesday, so it'll be a house full of boxes and chaos... Now what will they do with the cat?! :S
So, to reduce our own stress, Phil and I sat down this evening to write a list. There are so many things to be done. It has only just been decided that we will put Christmas on here. We had expected a low-key event at the smallholding, with Phil cooking and me being his assistant, but somehow it being in our house makes us feel that it will now need to be as good as it gets, rather than a case of making do...
Tomorrow will be the big day of tidying, cleaning, preparing rooms, buying plenty of food and drink, thinking about presents, decorating upstairs, buying 'eco' logs to ensure nice, hot fires (no one seems to sell dry wood anymore, have you noticed?), and all the rest. Oh man, we might even need to get a tree! It's all there on the list. And as we know, all good actions start with a bloody good list - check out Beth's blog if you haven't already - it's a Hundred Days blog, with the first day's task being 'Write a list' and the following ninety-nine days taken up with ticking one job off every day in no particular order...
I'm finding it very inspiring, but you know me, I love lists...
:)
So it looks like my parents and brother will be coming to our house again this year. It will be too stressful for my parents if we descend upon them at the smallholding - I mean, they're only getting the keys tomorrow, and moving more stuff (tractors!) up on Wednesday, so it'll be a house full of boxes and chaos... Now what will they do with the cat?! :S
So, to reduce our own stress, Phil and I sat down this evening to write a list. There are so many things to be done. It has only just been decided that we will put Christmas on here. We had expected a low-key event at the smallholding, with Phil cooking and me being his assistant, but somehow it being in our house makes us feel that it will now need to be as good as it gets, rather than a case of making do...
Tomorrow will be the big day of tidying, cleaning, preparing rooms, buying plenty of food and drink, thinking about presents, decorating upstairs, buying 'eco' logs to ensure nice, hot fires (no one seems to sell dry wood anymore, have you noticed?), and all the rest. Oh man, we might even need to get a tree! It's all there on the list. And as we know, all good actions start with a bloody good list - check out Beth's blog if you haven't already - it's a Hundred Days blog, with the first day's task being 'Write a list' and the following ninety-nine days taken up with ticking one job off every day in no particular order...
I'm finding it very inspiring, but you know me, I love lists...
:)
Doing Nothing is Sometimes the Hardest Thing
Sunday 20th December:
Day Seventeen.
A very relaxing day - unheard of! We spent most of the day in bed, sleeping, chatting, and watching stuff on BBC iPlayer, YouTube and the like. A success! A relaxing day, don't you see, is a huge achievement for the stressed-out, het-up workaholic.
Then, just as I thought there would be nothing to tell you (again!), I found the missing Bukowski DVD. It's been troubling me for over a week now. Can you guess where it was? Behind the bloody bed, that's where, between the mattress and the wall. I'm sure I'd looked there...
Now it's ready to go back to the library, taking all the stress and guilt with it. :)
Hey, doing nothing is GOOD: I even found this blog about it! It recommends starting small: "Doing nothing, in the true sense of the word, can be overwhelming if you attempt to do too much nothing at once. Do small nothings at first." I like that!
Day Seventeen.
A very relaxing day - unheard of! We spent most of the day in bed, sleeping, chatting, and watching stuff on BBC iPlayer, YouTube and the like. A success! A relaxing day, don't you see, is a huge achievement for the stressed-out, het-up workaholic.
Then, just as I thought there would be nothing to tell you (again!), I found the missing Bukowski DVD. It's been troubling me for over a week now. Can you guess where it was? Behind the bloody bed, that's where, between the mattress and the wall. I'm sure I'd looked there...
Now it's ready to go back to the library, taking all the stress and guilt with it. :)
Hey, doing nothing is GOOD: I even found this blog about it! It recommends starting small: "Doing nothing, in the true sense of the word, can be overwhelming if you attempt to do too much nothing at once. Do small nothings at first." I like that!
Try, Try and Try Again
Day Fourteen.
Yes, I disappeared for a few days. I wonder if anyone noticed?
I was not spirited away by some magical fairy sparkles, oh no.
I was entangled in the dark stress-cloud which surrounds my head like a blanket soaked in ditch-water, suffocating my breath and shattering my thoughts, making even the simplest of tasks seem like complicated, mammoth obstacles. I've been there for a while. It makes me feel very melodramatic, as you can tell... :)
I'm back now, sort of.
I've decided not to ask too much of myself for a while.
I hope to keep doing and writing, but do not plan on beating myself up over any of it!
:)
I tried to do lots of things on Thursday, Day Fourteen...
I need to arrange a replacement SIM card for my phone, and people keep promising me their old ones, but so far none have worked, most have been forgotten... I tried out a couple, but got the same message 'SIM Activation Failed.'
We want to move all of the boxes of books from the loft down to the empty bedroom, so that they're ready to take to the smallholding when we go. But my parents need space their on their own to overcome the stresses of the last six months, so we are now uncertain as to when we might be able to start moving stuff.
I've been waiting for a hoover part to arrive which should sort it out once and for all - how did a huge piece fall out without us noticing?!
I searched high and low for the Bukowski DVD which Bec borrowed from the library and then lent to me. It has completely vanished, and so no success there... :(
I wrote out some of the addresses for the Christmas cards, and discovered I didn't have them all. Started trying to find people's addresses.
We did some more recording at Bec's house, and listened to most of the songs. I can't keep reporting that though, can I? No matter how exciting it may be for me!
A very trying day.
Yes, I disappeared for a few days. I wonder if anyone noticed?
I was not spirited away by some magical fairy sparkles, oh no.
I was entangled in the dark stress-cloud which surrounds my head like a blanket soaked in ditch-water, suffocating my breath and shattering my thoughts, making even the simplest of tasks seem like complicated, mammoth obstacles. I've been there for a while. It makes me feel very melodramatic, as you can tell... :)
I'm back now, sort of.
I've decided not to ask too much of myself for a while.
I hope to keep doing and writing, but do not plan on beating myself up over any of it!
:)
I tried to do lots of things on Thursday, Day Fourteen...
I need to arrange a replacement SIM card for my phone, and people keep promising me their old ones, but so far none have worked, most have been forgotten... I tried out a couple, but got the same message 'SIM Activation Failed.'
We want to move all of the boxes of books from the loft down to the empty bedroom, so that they're ready to take to the smallholding when we go. But my parents need space their on their own to overcome the stresses of the last six months, so we are now uncertain as to when we might be able to start moving stuff.
I've been waiting for a hoover part to arrive which should sort it out once and for all - how did a huge piece fall out without us noticing?!
I searched high and low for the Bukowski DVD which Bec borrowed from the library and then lent to me. It has completely vanished, and so no success there... :(
I wrote out some of the addresses for the Christmas cards, and discovered I didn't have them all. Started trying to find people's addresses.
We did some more recording at Bec's house, and listened to most of the songs. I can't keep reporting that though, can I? No matter how exciting it may be for me!
A very trying day.
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