Sorry about that. That was a long pause!
Since I last wrote we have been stupidly busy.
Rebecca and I went to Holland to play our last foreseeable performances as Ember, and we've not seen much of each other since. The album has been selling well thanks to her mailouts to the people who support us and value our music. We still have to work out what to do with the many boxes of Emberobelia - theatre programmes and magazines featuring write-ups about us, reviews, stacks of live recordings on CD and DVD, data CDs full of photos, as well as all the excess office materials we have left over. We can't just throw that stuff away!
Since Ember finished in early March, Phil and I have been racing to complete the remaining work on our house so that we can put it on the market and go to the smallholding. It felt so good to get involved (finally!) and complete jobs such as sanding and oiling the stairs, cleaning up the revealed copper pipes, and thoroughly scrubbing the entire interior. Phil has been doing so well - he's finished putting the new roof on the annex, painted most of the window frames and (almost) fixed the front door. I feel rather out of my depth with the actual building work, so have been signing up for any and all of the cleaning tasks...
I can't believe we are planning on moving to the smallholding on Thursday! We have two more valuations taking place on Wednesday, before we decide on an estate agent, and we're planning on leaving most of the furniture in the house while it's on the market. Life at the smallholding will be pretty basic to begin with, but my parents have offered to lend us some chairs and a patio table for our kitchen in the meantime.
Today I hit the 19 weeks mark in the pregnancy - halfway through, according to the updates I get from the BabyCentre.co.uk - and the time has been racing by! For the last three weeks or so I have been feeling little Squiggles moving about inside, and the little cartwheels are getting stronger all the time. When I think about the fact that there is an actual baby inside me, it makes me feel strangely ticklish and a bit giggly... Exciting times! :)
The downside of the pregnancy has been a hugely increased emotional sensitivity - I've been getting really upset over small things (they seem so massive at the time!) and sometimes in the evenings it can all become too much. The depression can last until I finally fall asleep exhausted. I am not normally one to cry, but some nights have seen me weeping inconsolably for hours. :( There is such a thing as Ante-Natal Depression apparently, though we don't hear much about it. The positive thing to bear in mind is that usually the depression passes once the child has been born. I'm hoping it will pass when we get to the smallholding - life has been so stressful these last few months, slowing down can only help!
Hormones though, they can drive you mad! How are you supposed to remain a nice person whilst being dragged around on a nightmarish emotional roller coaster? Poor Phil has been through the mill as well, he has no idea when I might snap next... (Well, nor do I...!)
I shall do my best to get some photos of our beautiful, tidy house for you to have a look, and while I'm at it, I might even ask Phil to take a photo of my little bump...
Goodnight! :)
PS - Oh yes - the One Hundred Days? I reckon it's over, baby. I did 54 posts out of 100 - pretty poor! - but I can appreciate what it did for me. It got me started on this blog for one thing, and helped me to connect with others who were involved - without it I would never have found Tammy, or Beth... It's brought me closer to my Kellee... Not to mention the fact that it's allowed me to share my daily mundanity with my mum, who checks the Tangled Yarn regularly and will be pleased to see that I've finally posted another update - oh - there she is now - HELLO MUM!
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Hey Em, it's great to hear from you. Huge sympathies for the emotional rollercoaster that is pregnancy hormones. My Paul used to tell me that if there was any time I was allowed to be an absolute nightmare, it was while carrying our baby and it always made me feel better. When little Squiggles arrives, those hard moments will all be forgotten.
ReplyDeleteVery excited to hear you're moving to the smallholding soon! Look forward to hearing all about it...
Yep, here's Mum. Em, I'm so pleased you've allowed yourself time to write another blog....how else would I know what's happening in your house!
ReplyDeleteYour dad and I are really looking forward to our first grandchild and having you and Phil living next door (tho' with plenty of insulation in between us!) Love you both (all) lots.xxx
Lovely to read a post from you again Em. Although, very strange to 'hear' you talking about baby things!! I was depressed for the first few months of my first pregnancy, but it did pass, and all was very well for the second half. I hope it gets perfectly rosy for you soon. Whatever gets thrown at you by your body over the next twenty weeks though, it'll all be so, so worth it in the end. I wouldn't have done it two more times if it was that bad, eh? :)
ReplyDeleteLotsaluv,
Linda-Lou.
It's so lovely to hear from you Em, I've been thinking about you loads lately (mostly because I'm as broody as a hen!). I can't wait to see some pictures of the clean house and the bump and hopefully the smallholding when you're in and settled.
ReplyDeleteAnd sorry to hear you're down in the dumps, I was 'monitored' for ante-natal depression due to previous problems in my past, but it didn't hit hard until a few days after the birth. If there's anything I can do, or if you want to chat about anything, you know where I am ;)
Take lots of care of yourself, that sunshine will be out before too long and that'll make the world of difference. Moving house and tying up all the Ember ends are bound to be stressful and emotional too, so hopefully when everything's sorted then summer will be here and you can enjoy your last trimester ;)
Loads of love xxxx
Hey lady:-)
ReplyDeleteI'm really glad you've put another post up too, because your blog posts are always interesting whatever you're talking about:-)
I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling really down, but it seems to me that pregnancy is a time when such gigantic changes happen in your body (and your life) that it's almost like you're being put through the mill to prepare you a bit. Considering you've been dealing with pregnancy + end of Ember + doing up, selling a house AND moving, I think you're doing amazingly and hope that you can find the energy to be gentle to yourself.
I'm very excited to hear more about Squiggles (*awesome* bump name, by the way!) and the smallholding, so I hope you find some more time to tell us how things are with you:-)
Much love and plenty of hugs next time I see you,
Hannah xx